You're earring is so big in my mouth
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
