I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize