So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
how do you play pong handcuffed?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
