You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize