Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
