I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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