we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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