you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
