how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
