it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
