remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize