and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
