sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
