their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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