Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
