She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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