i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize