If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
