Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
