There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
