I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
