More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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