we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
