Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
