Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
