I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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