i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
