:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Randomize
