I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
