Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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