i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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