You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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