If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
is wine microwaveable?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
