Christians are straight up FREAKS
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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