Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
