She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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