if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
