I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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