Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
you never un-have a 4some
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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