Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
