she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
