Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize