Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
