We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
