i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize