im gay
i know
yea but for you.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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