So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize