Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
