i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
