you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Randomize
