Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
