AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
