i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
