lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
