Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
