Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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