the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Drake has all the answers
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
