when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
