Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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