1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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