"it" just moved
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
This baby is an asshole
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
