I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
