Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
