the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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