seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
