i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
