Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
