Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
