I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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