I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
