I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize