dude i'm inner monologue high
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
