it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
