Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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