I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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