You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
