I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize