wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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